Fame Pictures

News flash! Not every girl wants to be Jamie Lynn Spears.

A young woman selected by police to trick the paparazzi assembled at Los Angeles International Airport for the recently hatched teen's arrival back in September is threatening to sue the LAX Police Department—because apparently she didn't agree to pose as the younger Spears sister.

Counsel for the would-be plaintiff, Adessa Eskridge, is demanding $2 million to fully compensate for the "humiliation, fear and harassment" Eskridge suffered when she deplaned and, without prior knowledge of what awaited, walked right into the flashbulb jungle. (View the damages claim.)

At the time, an LAX-PD spokesman told E! News that the department was opening an internal investigation because "it is not the policy or practice for Airport Police to provide a celebrity decoy."

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Steve Granitz/Getty Images

• Lisa Marie Presley has taken to MySpace to express her condolences to the Travolta family and call out those attacking Scientology: "Let's not use the tragic death of a child to facilitate your insatiable need to attack and destroy Scientology shall we?" Read the rest here.

• Josh Brolin doesn't care; he'll call Russell Crowe an a-hole. What of it?

• Aubrey O'Day is still talking about maybe being gay or bisexual or whatever. She tells MTV, "I think it's funny that so many people care." Um, do that many people care?

• See, Zac Efron can do edgy. Maybe he will make it out of the teen-idol vortex after all—as long as he keeps that perfect face hidden.

• Will Amy Winehouse ever meet a dude who doesn't go around blabbing her personal stuff to newspapers?

• Sorry, Debra Messing, this isn't fair but we had to link.

Get more scoop in our Big Picture Gallery!

Courtesy of Travolta Family

John Travolta and Kelly Preston have left the Bahamas and returned to the U.S. along with the cremated remains of their 16-year-old son, Jett.

The couple, along with 8-year-old daughter Ella Bleu, left the islands Monday night after the autopsy was complete and returned with their son's ashes to their home in Ocala, Fla.

Travolta's publicist has announced that a memorial service for Jett is being planned for Thursday, and the town is already preparing to help the family with whatever special arrangements they may need for the occasion.

"We're assuming they'll have a lot of friends and family coming in, we're not quite sure who, that will need help moving around town," Ocala Mayor Randy Ewers told E! News. "We have the police department available, and the sheriff's department is working with them."

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Stephen Colbert found himself a Robin to his Batman...at least for one day.

On Monday's episode of The Colbert Report—the first of the new year—the comic announced a new format, one that included former Fox Newser Alan Colmes, the liberal half of the recently separated Hannity & Colmes for 12 years. He called the experiment "Colbert & Colmes" and introduced a new animated set of credits that featured the host plucking Colmes from his front pocket.

The sidekick was invited to a seat behind the desk that kept him perched a good foot shorter than Colbert and received a list of approved responses, including "Boom goes the dynamite" and "Hamburger, you're good." To remind his pal who was boss, photo graphics regularly landed over Colmes' face.

Toward the end, the pairing went up in smoke, literally. An argument began after Colmes pointed out several mistakes in a metaphor the Emmy winner made. The newcomer then turned into a bat and flew away, shouting, "Boo-yah! Colmes away!"

20th Century Fox; Warner Bros. Entertainment

Indy, we hardly knew ya.

Comic book-based blockbusters The Dark Knight, Iron Man and Hellboy II: The Golden Army lead the list of seven semifinalists in the running for this year's Best Visual Effects Oscar, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced today.

Also making the cut: Australia, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and two Brendan Fraser-powered flicks, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and Journey to the Center of the Earth (which is gunning to be the first 3-D movie to be nominated in this category).

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Cloverfield and two other superhero opuses—Hancock and The Incredible Hulk—were among the surprise snubs. The films were among 15 short-listed last month.

On Jan. 15, the Academy will screen 15-minute reels from the contenders, and then a panel of experts will whittle the field down to a final three. (The screenings at the Academy's Samuel Goldwyn Theater are open to the public).

Nominations for the 81st Academy Awards will be unveiled Jan. 22, with the ceremony taking place exactly one month later.

AP Photo / Tammie Arroyo

Ed McMahon has been dogged by legal hassles for months now. Now his dog's taking revenge.

An unnamed process server turned up at Chez McMahon on Saturday to deliver the financially challenged Ed a new batch of legal papers.

But when the man knocked on the door, the former Tonight Show sidekick's wife, Pamela, allegedly unleashed the family's bloodthirsty hound, er, poodle on him.

While the Los Angeles County Department of Animal Control verified that the process server did suffer a bite on his right knee and that an investigation has been opened into the poodle attack, McMahon's rep appears unconcerned.

"Dog bites man is not news," quips über-publicist Howard Bragman. "Call me back when it's man bites dog."

Or better yet, McMahon.

Amazon.com

Here's some news that may make your ponyhawk hair stand even more on end.

After nearly two years away from the inexplicable spotlight he and his flowing locks once inhabited, former American Idol punch line contestant Sanjaya Malakar is seeking out those last few minutes of fame left over from the 15 he managed to acquire by unleashing a new EP on the world titled Dancing to the Music in My Head.

The five tracks that comprise this little gem won't be available for download until Jan. 20 via Amazon, but feel free to go there now for a preview if your morbid curiosity absolutely needs satisfying.